Dear Darla of the past,

I’m writing this to you in the hopes you can circumvent some of the train wrecks you have on the horizon if you keep on the path you are on.

First of all, I want you to know that Jesus is the hole in your heart and to search Him out and believe His promises and the Word of God and not the words of others around you.  The Devil will try to destroy you and your mind with lies about yourself and others, don’t believe him, believe in the truth of the Bible.  Study it every day and pray for revelation and truth to be revealed.

Your brother, your sisters, your mom and dad and peers have lied to you.  You are beautiful, you are worth something, Jesus accepts you as you are.  You do belong to His kingdom, stop trying to belong to the world, you don’t belong to the world. 

Life will be tough, but you will get through it and you will learn and be stronger because of your trials.  Find your gifts and serve others with your gifts.  You cannot be selfish and happy at the same time.  You don’t have to do it alone, you have the Holy Spirit.  Find a community of believers who will remind you and encourage you every day.

You can stop trying to fit into your families culture. Your family culture is not God’s culture.  Your self esteem is not equal to their opinion and your performance (and success) but rather the truth of what God says about you and He says you are the “righteousness of God”.  Believe me that you are.  I know you are ashamed of your behavior/decisions you’ve made and in your heart you desperately want to make the right decisions, but you’re are divided between what your heart says and what your environment is telling you. 

You are beautiful the way you are.  Accept yourself and stop trying to please everyone around you in the hopes of feeling unconditional acceptance.  Only God can love you the way you long for, so search him and build the relationship with him so you will feel that connection.

You have compassion and a heart to serve, so go serve.  Use your creativity and discernment and find a way to serve, you will find joy there.

Lastly, remember that YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY and to balance putting yourself last to everyone else’s needs.  Your needs matter.  YOU MATTER.  YOU MATTER TO GOD.  Take care of your body, LOVE YOURSELF.  TAKE CARE to what you read, the people you invest in and the environment you place yourself in.

Remember….the best is yet to come and you CAN HOPE FOR HAPPINESS.

I love you,

Darla (senior)