25 lessons I've learned in the last 25 years.

1.  Sometimes what I think I want isn't really what I want.  What I think I want isn't what I need.  What I need may not be what I want!




2.  Appreciate my health and take care of myself because it will catch up with me.



3.  Being "right" is incredibly over rated (unless you are a neurosurgeon or an anesthesiologist).



4.  Relationships matter more than "stuff".



5.  Make sure when I'm asking for advice to ask advice from the "right" person.  Someone who shares the same worldview (for me that's from the Bible) as I do, or I will get off course.



6.  Spend time creating a Life Plan not a "vacation plan".  I don't want to have to escape my life with a vacation.



7.  My children have taught me more about myself than I have about themselves.



8.  I will always make a point to add value to people's lives around me.



9.  Finding a hobby/passion that excites me warrants more time doing those things.



10.  It's important for me to have a community of people I trust surrounding me for when I get off track with my thinking or habits.



11.  I will always be open to learning lessons not matter how old I get.



12.  It's important to have people in my life who are "further along" emotionally, mentally and financially in order to ask questions and learn from.



13.  I Understand there are people I will meet that are not meant to be in my life forever so don't hold on.



14.  When it's right - I will know it.  Somethings are not meant to be "hard".



15.  Don't try to conquer big things by myself.  I wasn't designed to go through tough times by myself.



16.  Trust God.  He's there to help me succeed.  He's my LIFE COACH.  If I study his word and learn how to hear Him.  He will be my best advisor.



17.  When people hurt me, I will pray for them and wish them well.  I can't stay mad at people I pray for and wish well.



18.  Unforgiveness is a way to poison myself.



19.  It's important to be kind to people, everyone has a story.



20.  When someone asks me, "How are you?"  I will really answer them.  This gives them permission to be authentic with me and I have found developed real friendships from this authenticity.



21.  It takes ONE person to want a relationship to work.  If I am that ONE person, I will make sure the relationship I am holding onto  is a healthy one.



22.  Healthy love is patient, kind, forgiving, gentle, trusting, doesn't keep score, not easily angered or offended.  If I am not those things, my number one goal would be to learn HOW TO BE those things
.

23.  I don't have to be like everyone else to accept everyone else.  Accept and love people and embrace their uniqueness.



24.  It's perfectly natural for my kids to grow up and want to be separate from me- it's not rejection - it's human nature!!



25.  Love my kids and spend time with them when I can, it will make all the difference when they are older and it will define a legacy which will outlast me.



BONUS:
26.  Find a career I love and don't waste time in a career I am not gifted to be in.  This doesn't mean I don't make sacrifices, but I let those sacrifices be material things (not my time) until I find a career I fall in love with.  I am gifted for certain professions, figure out what those are and DON'T GIVE UP until I get there!!



27.   When you get married, it's not about choosing the perfect person, it's about loving the IMPERFECT person you chose.


28.  Figure out the top 5 roles you want to play and get really good at those roles and don't spread myself too thin.

It's all about LOVE

What is your number one goal in life?  How would you answer this question?

My number one goal in life is ________________?  

Think it through.  Whatever the answer is will be your DOMINANT life value/principle.

If your dominant life value is to have fun, then this evening if you get a couple invitations for the evening, then you will tend to choose whichever is most FUN.

If your dominant life value is safety, then you will make sure every decision in life based on the safest choice.

If your dominant life value is to be affirmed, then you will choose things in life that will give you the most affirmation.

It's extremely important what is going to be the most important value in your lfie.

In 1 Corinthians 13.  Let LOVE be your greatest aim.  God says your #1 life value should be LOVE - your highest life value.  The bible said God created everything in the universe for love.  He created us as the object of His love.  He created us to learn how to love.  

Jesus said the most important thing is the "great commandment".  Mark 12:28 

Life is all about learning to love.  Everything else is EXCESS.  One day you will stand before God and answer to how well you loved yourself, God and other people.

Life is all about love.  Love God with all your heart, love your neighbor as you love yourself.

Everything you do must be done with love.  What does that include?  EVERYTHING

Does this mean when you deal with people who attack you because of your faith? YES

Does this mean when you deal with the person at the fast food drive thru that you can't understand?  YES

Does this mean when you deal with people who have different political opinion? YES

Does this mean when someone disagrees with your opinion? YES

1 Corinthians 16:14 - MEMORIZE it - "Let all that you do be done in love."

The day you understand how completely and unconditionally God loves you, you will automatically be more loving, merciful and graceful.  

People who don't feel good about themselves are people are the ones who give no grace, mercy or love to others.  

You cannot give to others what you do not have yourself.  

Next we talk about five things the bible says about love.

1.  We love because God loves us.  All love comes from God.  1 John 4:7-8.  God is love.  The reason why God wants you to love, is because he IS love and he wants us to be like him. If He wasn't loving there would be no love in the universe.  We have the ability to love because we were made in the image of God.  Animals cannot love, rocks cannot love.  Animals have instincts but they do not love the way human beings have the ability to love.  Our two missions while on earth:  Learn to love God and learn to love other people.  God takes the initiative.  When he sent Jesus to earth to die for us, He shows us his love.  

When believers don't believe they are not measuring up to God and feel they don't love God enough, the real problem is they don't realize how much God loves them.  If they realized how much God loved them so extravagantly and unconditionally, they would be automatically attracted to God.  If they understand or felt how much He loved them, they would not be carrying around guilt and condemnation. 

You can't make God stop loving you.  Once you feel the unconditional love, you cut people more slack and give more mercy.  People who hurt others don't feel good about themselves, so they pass it along to others.


Unlovely people are unLOVED people.  If you are feeled with anger and impatience?  You won't be able to love anyone else.  Let God's love heal your heart and let it flow through.

2.  Love is a CHOICE.  Love is a commitment.  You choose to love or to not love.  We do have control over our love.  Attraction is uncontrollable.  Arousal is uncontrollable.  Attraction and Arousal is not love.  They can lead to love, but they aren't love.  Love cannot be forced.  You can't make someone love you or stay in love with you.  You can choose to love God or not love Him.  When a person says, "I just don't love her anymore".  This is a choice.  Don't blame it on circumstances.  You are choosing not to love.  

3.  Love is an ACTION not just a emotion.  Love can cause emotion.  It can create emotion.  Love is not an emotion, though.  Why?  We are commanded by God to love each other.  You can not command an emotion.  You can't command an emotion and have it be authentic, it can be acted.  Love is something you DO and it is an ACTION.  1 John 3:18.  "Let us not love with tongue, but with action."  Acting in love when you don't feel it is a more MATURE love.  It's easy to love someone who loves you, it takes nothing at all.  Real love is when you do the right thing when they don't deserve it, you don't feel it or when they don't respond.  Look at how we sacrificially love our children and take care of them.  Anytime you have held a sick hand for

4.  Love is a skill.  It's something you can get good at.  




to be continued....
notes from Rick Warren's "40 Days of Love, It's all About Love, Part 1".

Purpose of Christmas

Purpose of Christmas - Rick Warren

The 1st purpose of Christmas is to CELEBRATE.  - Session 1

GOD LOVES YOU.  God's love is based on who He is.  Not what you do.  John 3:16.  Romans 8:35-39.  Nothing can separate us from God.  NOTHING.  The 2nd reason to celebrate Christmas is GOD IS WITH YOU. God is with you all the time whether you feel it or not.  Hebrews 13:5 " I will never leave you and I will never abandon you".  GOD IS FOR YOU.  He wants you to win.  He wants you to succeed and give your life purpose and meaning.  John 3:17.  God did not send His son into the world to condemn it, but to save it.  Don't condemn the world, point people to the way, the truth and the light.  Jesus didn't come to condemn it, he came to save it.   Jesus came to save us not to scare us!  "do not be afraid".

YOU DON'T NEED TO BE AFRAID.  God says I love you, I'm with you, I'm for you!  That's the good news of great joy!

The 2nd purpose of Christmas is SALVATION - a personal Savior. - Session 2

Statistics show 90% of people pray, this tells us that people recognize there is something bigger than ourselves.

What do you need to be saved from this Christmas?
traffic
chaos
busyness
spending too much money
shopping
inadequacies
family members

Salvation is 3 dimensional:  

1.  Save us FROM sin.  Sin is an attitude, it's a pride problem.  Sin is saying "I want to be my own boss, I don't want to follow God, I want to serve my purpose not yours."  We have these attitudes at different times of our life.  We all fall short of God's glorious standard.  EVERYONE.  Sin separates us from God.  Our sins are the roadblock between us and God, this is why our prayers aren't being answered.  That's why he sent Jesus as a savior.  Jesus came to set us free from our sins.  We need to be set free from ourselves.  We are our own biggest problems...our own reactions and inadequacies that cause us to do dumb things. Welcome to the human race!! Apostle Paul understands, Romans 7:24-25. Answer to our problem - Jesus.  We need a savior.  That's what Christmas is all about.

2.  Save us FOR a purpose:  Ephesians 1:11-12.  God has designs on us for glorious living.  God has a plan and a purpose for our life.  He's had it all along.  As our creator he knows what's best for us.  He saves us for a purpose he wants us to fulfill in our life.  We have to find out how make it come to pass in our life.  You can live at survival level, success level or the significance level.  We were made for more than success.  We were made for significance which comes from God.  Are you tired of living an unfulfilled life.  God longs for us to move from success to significance.  It's not about you/us!  Our culture says it's ALL about us...so this is counter-cultural.  You won't find satisfaction for living for yourself.  God did not wire us to live this way and we will always have a hole in our heart until we realize this.

3.  Save us by HIS grace:  We can't buy our way into Heaven.  We don't deserve to be saved.  Jesus, who is perfect, came to do.  He will give us His grace.  God gives us what we need, not what we deserve.  Grace says I'm going to take your problem and make it my problem.  God's Riches At Christ's Expense (GRACE).  Eph 2:8  "It is by grace you have been saved, through faith, and this is not from yourselves, it is a gift from God..."  God gave us the greatest gift.  He sent us a savior.

A Time for Reconciliation - Session 3

Celebration - Good news of Great Joy

Salvation - A Savior is born

Reconciliation - "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace good will to men"

RECONCILIATION - Peace on Earth

Where do you need peace in your life this Christmas?

family

friends

taking time out to enjoy what's important

happy

focus on Christ and His birthday

everywhere

No peace in the world until there is peace in the Nations.  Communities won't have peace until peace in families.  There won't be peace in families unless there is peace in individuals and that won't happen unless we allow the "prince of peace" to come into our hearts.

What type of peace does Jesus gives us?  3 kinds

1.  Peace with God - Spiritual peace.  If you are trying to live without God, you are at war with God.  You need a peace treaty with God - you need reconciled with God.  Jesus came to be the bridge...the reconciler between you and God.  When you trust in JESUS, he will make all the conflict go away.  Come on home!  Have you made peace with God?  If you haven't, you need to...one day you will stand before him.  How do you make peace?  Not by promising to be perfect or saying you will never sin.  You make peace by faith.  Faith in God's grace.  Once you make peace with God, you get the 2nd kind of peace...

2.  The peace of God - Emotional peace.  This is the one you need on a daily basis.  Stress goes down in you life, not as angry, things don't bug you as much.  More patient, more joy, more forgiving.  You have the peace of God in your heart.   Phil 4:6.  You have two choices:  Pray or Panic.  Which will it be?  Worship or Worry - Your choice.  worry has never solved a single one of your problems, it doesn't change anything.  Prayer will change things though.  Pray about everything.  Tell God what you need and thank Him for all that He has done.  His peace will guard our hearts and our minds through Christ Jesus.

3.  Peace with others - Relationship with others:  End the war with everyone else.  Be a peacemaker.  2 Corinth 5:18-20.  He is committed to us the message of reconciliation.  God has given us a ministry and a message and it is reconciliation.  Be gracious to others.  Cut people some slack and don't hold them to such a heavy standard.  "Blessed are the Peacemakers, they shall be called the Children of God".  Matt 5:9.  If you know Jesus personally, you are going to be a peacemaker not a troublemaker.  Build people up, don't tear them down.  Love people the way Jesus loves the people.  Christmas is the perfect time to show grace to other people.  

Who do you need to rebuild a broken relationship with this Christmas?  Who do you need to reconcile a relationship with?

If you can't forgive someone, then you need Jesus, which is why you can't forgive.  You need to be filled with the love of Christ in order to let it go.  You are holding it in and it's hurting you.  Some of you are still letting people to hurt you from the past.  This is dumb.  The people of the past cannot hurt you any more unless you hold onto the hurt.  LET IT GO!

You are going to have to let Jesus fill you with His love, so you can love others the way He does.  Let him fill you with HIS forgiveness.  Until you truly feel forgiven, you can't forgive others.  You had some bumps, heartaches and hurts....it's all pointing at this moment right now.

God says:  You matter to me.  I love you, more than you ever know.  I have been watching and waiting for you to love me back your entire life.  I want you to know me.  I want the rest of your life to be the best of your life.  This is the good news of Christmas.  I love you, I'm with you and I'm for you.  I want to save you from your past, for a purpose and save you by my grace for all eternity.  If you let me do that, I will give you the peace between you and me and make you a peacemaker. 

Acts 10:35 - The door is open - if you are ready.

Jesus Christ is God's Christmas gift to you.

Heavenly Father, thank you for Jesus, thank you for all the things you've done for me so far and will continue to do in the future.  Thank you for the peace you have given to me and allowed me to pass on to others.  Continue to build in me the peacemaker heart so that I may glorify you to everyone who I come into contact with. 

*notes from Pastor Rick Warren "Purpose of Christmas"