The top 5 reasons why it took me 10 years to go to church

Top five 5 reasons why it took me 10 years to go to church.

I few weeks ago I encountered a couple and engaged in a conversation about church.   I noticed the topic going off into several tangents with regards to this couples faith, passion and pain.  In this conversation, the passion (and I"m not so sure the passion was healthy) was so aggressive towards people knowing how "sacred communion is" that I had a quick flash back to my days when I was petrified to be around "Christian people".  This person found it of ABSOULTE importance that everyone coming to church should know the deep theology that corresponded with communion.  Hmm.  I reminded her that many people who come to church may not even know what communion is, they were lost and something sparked them to come to a church service to see if God was there.  If a person like this (like me) would of encountered this couple and their "passion", they would never return.  This led me to sharing the 5 biggies why it took me 10 years to go back to church AFTER I found Jesus and had a close, personal relationship with Him.

1.  My experience with Christians were that of judgement and condemnation.   I wasn't raised in a church going family, I didn't "know things", I had "sin" in my life that I felt like I would be judged on.   I didn't realize that Jesus could use that ignorance to His benefit until later. PS.  I'm still learning "things" after working at a church for 4 years.  By the way...I've since discovered NOT ALL CHRISTIANS are judgmental and condemning!

2.  I felt safer alone.  

Yes, no risks.  I could just commune with my God and not have to take any risks of being vulnerable and being judged.  On the flip side, it kept me from connecting with people on deep levels as well.

3.  I didn't know any Christians

My world was filled with "good people who didn't need God".  I had one Christian friend and even the church they went to I witnessed behavior that (in my mind seasoned Christians would act like).  Yes, seasoned (mature) Christians still act human.  What a relief - the goal is not to be perfect!!!

4.  I didn't know enough to know WHAT type of church to go to.

Instinctively I knew there were no denominations in heaven, so I was ignorant of the different theologies, and quite frankly was "bliss" with that ignorance.

5.  I didn't want to be associated as a "religious" person.  Jesus was not "religious" in fact he called the pharisees "vipers and snakes".  The religious people of his time were his worst enemies!  He was a rebel against "religion".  There is nothing more ugly to me than a judgmental person using God as their weapon against people.  This is SO WRONG.  the more I studied Jesus, I more I came to understand he did NOT condemn people.  He gave them opportunities to follow him, but when they decided against it, he didn't argue with them, judge them or snuff his nose.  He wished them well and kept walking.   He met peoples needs on basic levels and told him about His father in heaven and how to treat people.  I wanted to be a Jesus disciple, but not a religious person.

In summary, if you are a "religious" person, do us all a favor, LIGHTEN UP.  We aren't all raised in churches, learning what all the church language is or understanding why its important to you.  We are broken, we want to find hope in God and we are going to Church in the hopes he's there.  Don't scare us away with your language and attitudes.  Don't judge us.  Meet our needs.  Mostly we just need to know it's okay we don't know anything but we need help.

The irony of all of this is now I work at a church.  But, isn't this just like God to put someone like me at the front line of the mission.  He knew that I would make sure everyone I came into contact with would feel welcomed even if they didn't know the "terms".  I love church now, I still don't like being around the "religious" ones, but I've found many more heartfelt merciful loving people in the church than the few that spoil it.  So, don't let one bad experience ruin it for you.  Keep swinging the bat to find a place to call home.  God never intended for you do "life" without a spiritual family....maybe that family is at a church, maybe not, but finda spiritual family so you can go through "stuff" together and develop deep connections.  It's worth it!

My Lenten Journey - Day 8

March 12, 2014

The day I stepped out of my comfort zone and had my first choir rehearsal.  Wow.  I was a nervous wreck.  My husband and I joined the Festival Choir to sing at the Easter Cantata (a word I wouldn't of even know what it meant had I not came to work here).

I'm excited and nervous at the same time.

When I was in high school I tried out for a choir and failed the audition.  I allowed that failure to keep me from singing in front of people (with exception of my kids) for my whole life.  Occasionally my husband would catch me singing worship and encourage me.  My self consciousness about singing grew and grew and grew to the point where it's a mountain in my mind.  IN MY MIND.

The good news is that I've learned that I don't have to bow to my feelings.  That just because I feel a certain way doesn't mean I have to give into it.  So, my love of singing has outweighed my fear of being "heard". Enough so to commit to singing in the Easter Cantata.  I've been practicing for weeks with the CD our Music Director has given me and I have stretched my vocal cords and practiced in front of my daughter who would tell me the truth if I stunk really bad!  She has a natural voice for singing and she believes I can do this.  So from the faith of my daughter and knowing God is with me and will anoint me do this, I'm stepping out of my comfort zone.

There I was seated in between two seasoned choir singers about to sing and realizing both of them will hear me.  I said a quick prayer and did the best I could.  I couldn't really hear myself singing which made me nervous to know if I was harmonizing or not.  I was getting praise from the Music Director but she is my peer and knows I am nervous so I was thankful for her encouragement.  I tried to adjust to my uncomfortable self by making jokes and making people laugh.  Interesting that I do that as a way to lighten my own spirits.  In a way I was humbling myself and setting the stage for people to not expect a whole lot from this new choir singer.

My husband was singing bass and later he disclosed he was as nervous and I and at 2/3 of the way through felt he didn't belong there.  We discussed the miracle on the other side of our stretching ourselves and comfort zones (as well as our vocal cords) and we agreed to keep going on.  To pray and ask for help.

The next day I asked our Music Director how I did.  She said I did great and I blended right in.  That if I was out of harmony, she would of heard me.  She offered to work with me as much as I needed.  I explained to her this was much bigger than singing.  This was about overcoming vulnerability and rejection and I was trusting God to do something great with me stepping out on this ledge.

Today I conquered a fear with God's help.  I will take it a day at time and know that I am not left alone to overcome my fears.  The bible says 365 times "Do not be afraid".  Taped to my computer monitor is the verse:

"I can do whatever I need to do in life through Christ who strengthens me"  Phil 4:3

Father God, thank you for the opportunity to tell Jesus' passion in a form of worship.  Please continue to give me strength of spirit to risk rejection and to put myself out there for all to see in an area I don't feel qualified.  Let you be the qualifier for me.  Let your Holy Spirit take over my voice and sing to You.  Please help both me and Charles adjust to our discomfort and know that on the other side awaits a miracle.  We put our lives into your hands and surrender all. In Jesus' name, Amen.

My Lenten Journey - Day 2

Thursday, March 6th

"I am your beloved to whom you are well pleased"

In a day where if you stand firmly on beliefs you can count on criticism and rejection, the comfort of knowing that I'm pleasing to God above all else is what I hold closest.

I am a reformed people pleaser.

I was a person who would adjust to whoever I was around in order to make THEM comfortable and ME acceptable.  At the age of 33 I made the decision I would be authentically me, whatever that looked like.  I knew there would be casualties (people who would leave my life because I wouldn't conform to theirs...mostly my family as I had no friends at the time).  I was secretly hiding who I really was in order to win over people and make them happy, thus they accepted me.

The person I was hiding was (and am) a follower of Jesus Christ, yes a Christian.  I chose to believe the Word of God as my authority and power.  I forgave people that my family didn't want me to forgive.  I showed mercy to people who needed mercy.  I stopped judging people.  I stopped being a part of conversations with people who judged others and saying nothing (which essentially meant you agreed). I started living my life as authentically as I was able.  I was in a time transformation.  Supernatural transformation.  What was important to me?  Not money....much to the disappointment and dismay of others around me.  I wasn't going out of my way to be pleasing to others and continually agreeing with them -  for their comfort zones.  I wasn't being politically correct in order to make sure those around me weren't "triggered" or "offended".  Yes.  This was my new quest to find the authentic Darla.  So, here I am 18 years later.  How am I different?  I'm bold.  I'm fanatically a follower of Jesus Christ.  Anyone who meets me will know my heart.  I'm transparent.  I am not hidden and I have no hidden agenda.  I don't feel called to force people to adopt my beliefs.  I make no apologies for my faith.  I will give my testimony if someone asks, but mostly I just am authentically me.  That makes some people comfortable and some people not comfortable.  I can live with that.  

When we pick up the cross and follow Jesus we can count on persecution.     However,God has not left me alone to deal with the rejection but has left His Holy Spirit to help me.  In this Lenten season I am reminded of the unconditional love and the sacrifice Jesus made in order that I may have eternal life.  He didn't deserve to die on the cross, but he did it for me.  I will forever be thankful for that.  He is the model I will follow till my last day, my last breath.  I am not a people pleaser any more, I am a God pleaser...and I can live with that.

Ephesians 1:6
"..to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved".


Father, I thank you for your grace and your steadfast love that never ceases.  I'm thankful for your mercy and your forgiveness and for showing me daily by the people you bring into my life.  I'm thankful for the transformation you are responsible for in my soul for being a God pleaser not a people pleaser and how much peace and joy that comes from not placing my value in other people's hands but by letting me know my value by your Word and constant presence in my life.  Please continue to give me the boldness and strength to carry out your will and your purpose in my life.  I am here for you and for Your glory alone.  Amen.

Living in God's Power

How to release God's anointing in your life?  

When things you do happen with ease, it's God's ability coming on you to enable you.  Too many people struggle.  God wants to oil the body.  He wants it to work with ease.  Too much stress and pressure will keep things from being easy.  There are not enough people enjoying their walk.  It's IT IS TIME TO ENJOY YOUR LIFE.  People are miserable because they aren't doing what God called them to do, but what other people ask them to do.

God wants every Christian to get in the place where God wants them and function there and not be MAD about being put there.  God's anointing can be on you, but if you don't get into His timing of it, it will still make you miserable.  You may have gifts but not produce any fruit..and then you wonder why.  When God calls you to do something and it's not breaking forth, it's probably the timing.  The key is to operate in your gifts in HIS timing, not yours.

When God's timing is right, you don't have to labor to use your gifts.   Learn to be sensitive to the anointing.  There may be things you "can" do doesn't mean God's anointing is on you to do it.  You need to learn the difference between ability and anointing.  When God is anointing you to do something, you will be able to do things you couldn't do on your own.

What are we anointed with?  The Holy Spirit.  Christians were given the Holy Spirit by Jesus, this is the anointing that we either claim or don't claim.

If you are a Christian, you don't belong to the world anymore.  You belong to God.  He sets you apart and will use you for a specific purpose and not let you get messed up with things you may want to be involved in.  We have to die to self to get to this place.  Every single one of us has a part and a purpose and a destiny, a gifting and a calling.

Let God bring us to a point to be an empty vessel so he can fill us and use us to His glory.
It would glorify God if we just make ourselves available.  He may not even use us today, but be happy to be empty and ready.  God anoints us for purpose. 

Say:  "I am anointed by God".  Say this several times a day and go out in the world and make a difference.

God, I pray for you to empty me of myself and let me see clearly what you have anointed me to do.  I only want what you want me to do.  Help me to understand what it means to be anointed by God with his Holy Spirit.  Help me to learn when it's your timing and when it's not.  I surrender to you today. Amen.

It's all about LOVE

What is your number one goal in life?  How would you answer this question?

My number one goal in life is ________________?  

Think it through.  Whatever the answer is will be your DOMINANT life value/principle.

If your dominant life value is to have fun, then this evening if you get a couple invitations for the evening, then you will tend to choose whichever is most FUN.

If your dominant life value is safety, then you will make sure every decision in life based on the safest choice.

If your dominant life value is to be affirmed, then you will choose things in life that will give you the most affirmation.

It's extremely important what is going to be the most important value in your lfie.

In 1 Corinthians 13.  Let LOVE be your greatest aim.  God says your #1 life value should be LOVE - your highest life value.  The bible said God created everything in the universe for love.  He created us as the object of His love.  He created us to learn how to love.  

Jesus said the most important thing is the "great commandment".  Mark 12:28 

Life is all about learning to love.  Everything else is EXCESS.  One day you will stand before God and answer to how well you loved yourself, God and other people.

Life is all about love.  Love God with all your heart, love your neighbor as you love yourself.

Everything you do must be done with love.  What does that include?  EVERYTHING

Does this mean when you deal with people who attack you because of your faith? YES

Does this mean when you deal with the person at the fast food drive thru that you can't understand?  YES

Does this mean when you deal with people who have different political opinion? YES

Does this mean when someone disagrees with your opinion? YES

1 Corinthians 16:14 - MEMORIZE it - "Let all that you do be done in love."

The day you understand how completely and unconditionally God loves you, you will automatically be more loving, merciful and graceful.  

People who don't feel good about themselves are people are the ones who give no grace, mercy or love to others.  

You cannot give to others what you do not have yourself.  

Next we talk about five things the bible says about love.

1.  We love because God loves us.  All love comes from God.  1 John 4:7-8.  God is love.  The reason why God wants you to love, is because he IS love and he wants us to be like him. If He wasn't loving there would be no love in the universe.  We have the ability to love because we were made in the image of God.  Animals cannot love, rocks cannot love.  Animals have instincts but they do not love the way human beings have the ability to love.  Our two missions while on earth:  Learn to love God and learn to love other people.  God takes the initiative.  When he sent Jesus to earth to die for us, He shows us his love.  

When believers don't believe they are not measuring up to God and feel they don't love God enough, the real problem is they don't realize how much God loves them.  If they realized how much God loved them so extravagantly and unconditionally, they would be automatically attracted to God.  If they understand or felt how much He loved them, they would not be carrying around guilt and condemnation. 

You can't make God stop loving you.  Once you feel the unconditional love, you cut people more slack and give more mercy.  People who hurt others don't feel good about themselves, so they pass it along to others.


Unlovely people are unLOVED people.  If you are feeled with anger and impatience?  You won't be able to love anyone else.  Let God's love heal your heart and let it flow through.

2.  Love is a CHOICE.  Love is a commitment.  You choose to love or to not love.  We do have control over our love.  Attraction is uncontrollable.  Arousal is uncontrollable.  Attraction and Arousal is not love.  They can lead to love, but they aren't love.  Love cannot be forced.  You can't make someone love you or stay in love with you.  You can choose to love God or not love Him.  When a person says, "I just don't love her anymore".  This is a choice.  Don't blame it on circumstances.  You are choosing not to love.  

3.  Love is an ACTION not just a emotion.  Love can cause emotion.  It can create emotion.  Love is not an emotion, though.  Why?  We are commanded by God to love each other.  You can not command an emotion.  You can't command an emotion and have it be authentic, it can be acted.  Love is something you DO and it is an ACTION.  1 John 3:18.  "Let us not love with tongue, but with action."  Acting in love when you don't feel it is a more MATURE love.  It's easy to love someone who loves you, it takes nothing at all.  Real love is when you do the right thing when they don't deserve it, you don't feel it or when they don't respond.  Look at how we sacrificially love our children and take care of them.  Anytime you have held a sick hand for

4.  Love is a skill.  It's something you can get good at.  




to be continued....
notes from Rick Warren's "40 Days of Love, It's all About Love, Part 1".

Purpose of Christmas

Purpose of Christmas - Rick Warren

The 1st purpose of Christmas is to CELEBRATE.  - Session 1

GOD LOVES YOU.  God's love is based on who He is.  Not what you do.  John 3:16.  Romans 8:35-39.  Nothing can separate us from God.  NOTHING.  The 2nd reason to celebrate Christmas is GOD IS WITH YOU. God is with you all the time whether you feel it or not.  Hebrews 13:5 " I will never leave you and I will never abandon you".  GOD IS FOR YOU.  He wants you to win.  He wants you to succeed and give your life purpose and meaning.  John 3:17.  God did not send His son into the world to condemn it, but to save it.  Don't condemn the world, point people to the way, the truth and the light.  Jesus didn't come to condemn it, he came to save it.   Jesus came to save us not to scare us!  "do not be afraid".

YOU DON'T NEED TO BE AFRAID.  God says I love you, I'm with you, I'm for you!  That's the good news of great joy!

The 2nd purpose of Christmas is SALVATION - a personal Savior. - Session 2

Statistics show 90% of people pray, this tells us that people recognize there is something bigger than ourselves.

What do you need to be saved from this Christmas?
traffic
chaos
busyness
spending too much money
shopping
inadequacies
family members

Salvation is 3 dimensional:  

1.  Save us FROM sin.  Sin is an attitude, it's a pride problem.  Sin is saying "I want to be my own boss, I don't want to follow God, I want to serve my purpose not yours."  We have these attitudes at different times of our life.  We all fall short of God's glorious standard.  EVERYONE.  Sin separates us from God.  Our sins are the roadblock between us and God, this is why our prayers aren't being answered.  That's why he sent Jesus as a savior.  Jesus came to set us free from our sins.  We need to be set free from ourselves.  We are our own biggest problems...our own reactions and inadequacies that cause us to do dumb things. Welcome to the human race!! Apostle Paul understands, Romans 7:24-25. Answer to our problem - Jesus.  We need a savior.  That's what Christmas is all about.

2.  Save us FOR a purpose:  Ephesians 1:11-12.  God has designs on us for glorious living.  God has a plan and a purpose for our life.  He's had it all along.  As our creator he knows what's best for us.  He saves us for a purpose he wants us to fulfill in our life.  We have to find out how make it come to pass in our life.  You can live at survival level, success level or the significance level.  We were made for more than success.  We were made for significance which comes from God.  Are you tired of living an unfulfilled life.  God longs for us to move from success to significance.  It's not about you/us!  Our culture says it's ALL about us...so this is counter-cultural.  You won't find satisfaction for living for yourself.  God did not wire us to live this way and we will always have a hole in our heart until we realize this.

3.  Save us by HIS grace:  We can't buy our way into Heaven.  We don't deserve to be saved.  Jesus, who is perfect, came to do.  He will give us His grace.  God gives us what we need, not what we deserve.  Grace says I'm going to take your problem and make it my problem.  God's Riches At Christ's Expense (GRACE).  Eph 2:8  "It is by grace you have been saved, through faith, and this is not from yourselves, it is a gift from God..."  God gave us the greatest gift.  He sent us a savior.

A Time for Reconciliation - Session 3

Celebration - Good news of Great Joy

Salvation - A Savior is born

Reconciliation - "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace good will to men"

RECONCILIATION - Peace on Earth

Where do you need peace in your life this Christmas?

family

friends

taking time out to enjoy what's important

happy

focus on Christ and His birthday

everywhere

No peace in the world until there is peace in the Nations.  Communities won't have peace until peace in families.  There won't be peace in families unless there is peace in individuals and that won't happen unless we allow the "prince of peace" to come into our hearts.

What type of peace does Jesus gives us?  3 kinds

1.  Peace with God - Spiritual peace.  If you are trying to live without God, you are at war with God.  You need a peace treaty with God - you need reconciled with God.  Jesus came to be the bridge...the reconciler between you and God.  When you trust in JESUS, he will make all the conflict go away.  Come on home!  Have you made peace with God?  If you haven't, you need to...one day you will stand before him.  How do you make peace?  Not by promising to be perfect or saying you will never sin.  You make peace by faith.  Faith in God's grace.  Once you make peace with God, you get the 2nd kind of peace...

2.  The peace of God - Emotional peace.  This is the one you need on a daily basis.  Stress goes down in you life, not as angry, things don't bug you as much.  More patient, more joy, more forgiving.  You have the peace of God in your heart.   Phil 4:6.  You have two choices:  Pray or Panic.  Which will it be?  Worship or Worry - Your choice.  worry has never solved a single one of your problems, it doesn't change anything.  Prayer will change things though.  Pray about everything.  Tell God what you need and thank Him for all that He has done.  His peace will guard our hearts and our minds through Christ Jesus.

3.  Peace with others - Relationship with others:  End the war with everyone else.  Be a peacemaker.  2 Corinth 5:18-20.  He is committed to us the message of reconciliation.  God has given us a ministry and a message and it is reconciliation.  Be gracious to others.  Cut people some slack and don't hold them to such a heavy standard.  "Blessed are the Peacemakers, they shall be called the Children of God".  Matt 5:9.  If you know Jesus personally, you are going to be a peacemaker not a troublemaker.  Build people up, don't tear them down.  Love people the way Jesus loves the people.  Christmas is the perfect time to show grace to other people.  

Who do you need to rebuild a broken relationship with this Christmas?  Who do you need to reconcile a relationship with?

If you can't forgive someone, then you need Jesus, which is why you can't forgive.  You need to be filled with the love of Christ in order to let it go.  You are holding it in and it's hurting you.  Some of you are still letting people to hurt you from the past.  This is dumb.  The people of the past cannot hurt you any more unless you hold onto the hurt.  LET IT GO!

You are going to have to let Jesus fill you with His love, so you can love others the way He does.  Let him fill you with HIS forgiveness.  Until you truly feel forgiven, you can't forgive others.  You had some bumps, heartaches and hurts....it's all pointing at this moment right now.

God says:  You matter to me.  I love you, more than you ever know.  I have been watching and waiting for you to love me back your entire life.  I want you to know me.  I want the rest of your life to be the best of your life.  This is the good news of Christmas.  I love you, I'm with you and I'm for you.  I want to save you from your past, for a purpose and save you by my grace for all eternity.  If you let me do that, I will give you the peace between you and me and make you a peacemaker. 

Acts 10:35 - The door is open - if you are ready.

Jesus Christ is God's Christmas gift to you.

Heavenly Father, thank you for Jesus, thank you for all the things you've done for me so far and will continue to do in the future.  Thank you for the peace you have given to me and allowed me to pass on to others.  Continue to build in me the peacemaker heart so that I may glorify you to everyone who I come into contact with. 

*notes from Pastor Rick Warren "Purpose of Christmas"

Happiness is a choice

Growing in the Season of Loss
Happiness is a choice.

"Thou shall not bellyache"  There are people in the world that would love to have our problems.  It's all about perspective.   I use to complain about not having any shoes until I met a man with no legs.

Bitterness causes us to complain.  Bitterness causes deep trouble and hurting many in their spiritual life.

Acts of God?
new born baby
marriage restored
body ressored and healed
someone set free from addiction

Steps to grow during the seasons of loss.

1.  Accept what cannot be changed.  Face the world FIRM AND COURAGEOUS.  Reach out to God.
2.  Faith is refusing to be discouraged in the face of reality.  Don't pretend you don't have a problem.  It's refusing to be discouraged in spite of the problem that is Faith.

3. Acceptance is the first step to peace.  The only way to peace is to accept.
Instead of being bitter look at what's left instead of what you've lost.  Be thankful God is still with you.  Need an Antedote for depression?  Gratitude.  Look at what's left and not what's lost.

4.  Remember what's important in the losses of life.   The greatest things in life aren't things.  What really matters are relationships and people.  Don't lose your joy over things that aren't important.  We brought nothing into the world, we can't take anything out of it.  You need to build your security from something that can't be taken from you.

Don't confuse your self worth with your net worth.   They are unrelated.  Make your security, the security of Jesus Christ.

Father I thank you for your security.  Thank you for the reminders that "stuff" doesn't matter, but "people" do.  Help me to invest in people and not in "things".  Amen.

*notes from Pastor Rick Warren, "Growing in the Season of Loss".

Enjoy every day of your life...

Growing in the Seasons of Life - 
ENJOY EVERY SEASON YOU ARE IN.

Seasons of life - beyond our control - can't control duration, location or anything about them.  Your schedule just gets thrown out the door.

Grief/Loss is a season of life, and you will go threw that many times in life.  Through death of someone you love or people you love, like your kids, growing up and moving away.

Waiting is a season of life.  Some seasons speed by and others drag on.  Seasons can be confusing.  We understand the season AFTER they are over.

God determines the seasons. See Daniel 2:21.  God is in ultimate control moving towards a destiny He ultimately designed.

God wants to teach you to life by faith not by explanation.  The Christian life lives by faith.  Ecc 3:11.  God does everything just right and on time but people cannot completely understand what he is doing.  If we could understand everything, we would be God.  Our brain isn't big enough to understand why God does what he does.  He has a purpose for every season of our life.

Do I hold on or do I let go.  Difficult times.  A time to keep and a time to throw away.

How can I make the most of each season.  Regardless there are four questions to ask yourself:  Every single season there is an important lesson to learn.

1.  What can I learn in this season of life?  Only learn through experience.  How can I grow from this?
2.  Life is a test.  You will spend far more time in eternity than in here on earth.  God wants us to learn a whole bunch of things before we get over there.  Learn character qualities and will take into eternity. Life is preparation for eternity.
3. What is most important in this season of my life?
4.  ENJOY THE SEASONS

Those who forget the past make the same mistakes.  Don't forget the lessons you learn or you have to relearn them.  Write down the lessons you learn.  So here it goes.

Yesterday I learned that maybe I don't have to be all or nothing on every aspect of my life.  Balance for some areas is healthy - like eating healthy and exercise.  I'm either focused on eating healthy or not at all.  How do I balance the two?  I also learned that I have a "straw ministry".  I am one end of the straw and God is at the other end and He is flowing straight through me to the outside world around me in everyone I meet and encounter - AS LONG AS I AM BALANCED.

I also learned that I'm learning to be content with what I have and that things don't need to be perfect for me to be happy.  People ought to enjoy every day of their life.  Each day is a gift from God.  "Give thanks in all circumstances".  Time is life and life is short.  You can't have it all - all the time.  Make some decisions about what really matters at this time of life.

If you are wise, you will begin to enjoy every single moment of the season you are in.

Father, help me to see the joys of the season I am in, help me to have the discipline to write down my lessons and not have to relearn them.  Help me to make the most of every season and see you in it every single day.

*notes and thoughts from "Understanding the seasons of life" by Pastor Rick Warren.

God's power

Where to put God first?

Whatever you put Him first in your life, will be blessed

5 places

F - Finances - If you want God to bless your finances, you MUST tithe.  God must always get paid first.

I - Interest - hobbies, interest, recreation.  Give God consideration in all your interests.

R - Relationships -  Bring Him into the center of all your relationships.

S - Schedule - Give Him the first part of every day.  You give him the first consideration in all your decisions.

T - Trouble - Need to turn to God first, when you have a problem.  PRAY first.  Don't pray LAST.

Live in His Kingdom, live BY His power.  God does not bless self-reliant people.  He blesses people who are submitted to Him but are God - Dependent. God does what you expect Him to do.  God doesn't give us what we deserve,  He gives us what we needs.  The more we depend on God instead of yourself.  God can do more in ONE week than we can do in our entire lifetime.  That's why it's never too late to surrender to God.

How do I get God's power in my life?

1.  Praying - prayer is the connection to God's power.  Much prayer, much power, little prayer, little prayer, no prayer, no power.
2.  Taking risks to obey God.  If you do what God is telling you to do, God will pour out His power in your life.  We only grow when our faith is being stretched.  If you aren't taking any risks, you don't need any faith.

Don't wait to be confident.  DO IT AFRAID.  Do the thing you fear the most.  Move ahead in spite of your feelings.

God does a miracle when you take the first step, the moment you step out in faith.  God is waiting on you for a miracle....if you want to walk on water, you have to get out of the boat.  Never be afraid to get out on a limb, that's where the miracle is.

What do you know God wants you to do that you haven't done yet?  What is scarying you to death?  That's the very thing God wants you to do, step out in faith and let Him show you a miracle.  Don't give up.

God, I ask you at this moment to bring to my mind that which scares me the most that you want me to do...put in my mind where you would have me step out in faith.  Let me go forward bolding and with faith be a part of the miracle you want to do in my life so I may give you all the glory.  Amen.

*notes from Pastor Rick Warren's "Connecting with God, The Prayer of Fulfillment, Part 2".

How do I live for God's Glory?

How do I live for God's glory? 

Who's glory are you living for?  Yourself? Your spouse? Your parents?  God says I want you to live for MY glory.  People are not fulfilled because they give first class allegiance to second class causes.  Then the causes betray them.  God did not put you on earth to live for others, but to live for HIS glory.  Only God is worthy of your first class allegiance.

Don't live for your job.  
You won't be fulfilled.

Don't live for approval.  
You won't be fulfilled.

Don't live for money. 
 You won't be fulfilled.

Don't live for sex.  
You won't be fulfilled.

One thing worth living for:  THE GLORY OF GOD

Four steps on how to live for the Glory of God.

1. Show love to everybody.  Love people the way Jesus loved.  Learn to love people the way God loves people.  "Warmly welcome each other, just as Christ has warmly welcomed you. then God will be glorified."  Simple hospitality glorifies God.  Can you be nice to people? If you want God's power in your life, do something you are afraid to do.  You can accept someone without approving everything they do.

2.  Use your abilities to serve everybody.  God did not give you your talents for the benefit of yourself, they are for the benefit of other people.  1 Peter 4:10.  I want to live in your kingdom, by your power and to your glory.  If I don't use my talents, I cheat others.  God is glorified when you use your talent to serve others.  The more you help others, the more God pours out to you.

3. Share the good news with everyone.  Find a church where it's safe to bring your friends. The only thing that's going to last for eternity - is God's family.  A thousand years from today there won't be a Microsoft or a United States.  No earthly kingdom lasts.  God's word and people are the only thing that will last forever.  

4. Do you want to live a fulfilled life?  Each morning sit on the side of your bed and pray one sentence, "Father, today I'll be in by 4".  What does that mean?  Father, today, I will live in your kingdom (I'll put you in my schedule, finances, relationships -you're #1), by your power (gonna take risks, pray all day and hang on when I feel like giving up), for Your glory (show love to everyone I meet, share my talent with everyone I meet, share good news of compassion and mercy and be a part of your family).

Will you do it?  Will you "be in by 4"?  

Father, I want to put you first in any area of my life, in my troubles, my finances and my schedules, I want to live by your power, help me to spend more on you and less then myself, give me the faith that are necessary to grow and help me to not give up and get discouraged.  Dear God, I want to live for your glory, I want my life to be a blessing to others.  I want to serve others, share the good news who don't even know you.  Help me to do all these things, in Jesus name, amen.

*notes from Pastor Rick Warren's sermon "Connecting with God, The Prayer of Fulfillment, Part 3).

Passing the Tests of Life: Lessons to get unstuck and prepared for where you want to go - Book Review

George Davis wrote a book that is so practical and relevant to the average every day Christian.  His book "Passing the Tests of Life" had made such an impact on me that I felt compelled to have a 7 week book study on this in my community.  It has proven to be instrumental in spiritual development and growth.  If you apply the principles in this book you will gain perspective on why things happen over and over and what lesson you are meant to learn.  Life will give you opportunities to learn lessons over and over until you finally pass.  Read this book and get a proactive approach.  Learn about how to deal with confrontation, being misunderstood, disappointment, offense, gratitude, pressure and more.  The life lessons are as follows:

1.  The Self Test

2.  The Time Test

3.  The Pressure Test

4.  The Distraction Test

5.  The Lot Test

6.  The Test of being Misunderstood

7.  The Confrontation Test

8.  The Money Test

9.  The Disappointment Test

10. The Offense Test

11. The Gratitude Test

12. The Perfect Storm - (when all the tests converge on you)

This book not only defines the tests but also gives you steps to PASS the test and move towards more spiritual maturity.  You will learn how to know when you are being tested, who is testing you, why you are being tested and how to pass the test.

I recommend this book to anyone who is tired of dealing with the same issues over and over.  It's an easy read, easy to follow and understand and VERY practical.

Divorce - What's waiting for you after the emotions and feeling of failure subside

Last night I "accidentally" sat at a table with a woman who is leading a DivorceCare class .  With her was a woman who is going through a divorce with someone she spent 25 years with.  I sat at the table because one of the Pastors I work with was sitting there and I was looking for someone.  He quickly introduced me to these two ladies and explained to them that I too have gone through divorce and knows what it feels like.

The one woman going through the divorce mentioned how she wakes up thinking about the divorce and goes to sleep with it thinking about it.  She explained how she felt like a failure and she is struggling with what her part was in the whole scenario.I shared a little (and it really was just a small tidbit) of my experience.  I shared with her that on the other side of this divorce is a miracle.  I look back and I can unquestionably identify my greatest spiritual growth during these horrible times of grief.  I told her that she may have been a part of the failure, just repent that she may have and move past that asking God to renew her and show her the parts of her that need to be change.  We have to get right with God and then accept the forgiveness and not carry it around with us.  This is the part I didn't know about which is why I continued on a path of self destruction.  I carried around guilt and shame which made me care nothing about my character.  I felt defeated more often than anything else.

My Story
You see I've been divorced two times not just once.  The first divorce was from the man I thought I would live my entire life.  He had been my hero since the time I was 16.  It was devastating when it ended.  I prompted the ending because emotionally I couldn't handle being in the marriage any longer.  Emotionally I was so empty and had felt so much rejection and had given him so much power over my feelings and allowed his words/actions to define me.  You see, I didn't know Jesus intimately, I didn't know what the Word said about how important I was to God.  I made my husband God.  This wasn't fair to him and it was just a setup for failure for me to be disappointed.  His opinion of me, his actions towards me all defined my mental state.  I was defined by him emotionally.  Looking back, I realize he was just as insecure as I was so you can imagine the roller coaster ride of that marriage.  We were together for 5 years when I left.  I remember driving up to our apartment, seeing his car and having a physical sick reaction immediately at knowing I would be facing him.  If I knew what I know now, that who I am is not how people treat me or what people say about me but what the Word of God says about me, I'm quite sure we would still be married and we would of worked through our problems.

My 2nd marriage was more about immigration than love.  The grief and devastation of my 1st marriage set me in a motion of self destruction and a feeling of total unworthiness of which I went out and found men who would validate that unworthiness for the next 7 years!  I was having sexual relations with a younger man from another country and got pregnant!  I was 29 years old, pregnant and living out in the country completing avoiding the real world.  This pregnancy is what changed everything for me.  I decided to carry out the pregnancy (in a step of faith due to supernatural events I will explain in another blog story) and my son, Jacob was born.  A year later, his father and I decided to get married due to changes in immigration laws (he was illegal). Sadly my attitude towards marriage at this time was "if it doesn't work out, we'll just divorce", Yes, I remember having that actual thought.   I wanted my son to have a chance at knowing his father though.  The joke was on me though because 2 1/2 year later I came home to having all my husbands belongings removed with no note or anything.  He chose alcohol over his family.  I thought, "Wow, I really MUST be a loser to not even know how to keep an alcoholic happy."  It was this event which was the spark that lit the fire in my heart to seek God with a relentless attitude.  To understand who I am in Christ and what that means.  I kept hearing it, but didn't understand it.  It took me another 5 years of pursuing God and studying His word (and another horrible horrible boyfriend) before I finally was restored enough to enter into a relationship I felt God had set up exactly for me.

I don't dwell on my failures because God has since honored me with a wonderful marriage and children.   Yes, I made mistakes, I failed, but I agreed with God this was never His plan for me and I finally surrendered everything to Him and let Him lead me.  My greatest fear became about doing what "WASN'T" His plan.  I had enough train wrecks, I wanted to experience the fullness of God. I'm sure that God would of honored the first marriage with children and happiness had I been pursuing righteousness and not trying to escape emotional hell every day, however the most important thing that I did was continue to pursue His Word and praying without ceasing and eventually - I got it!

The difference between my current marriage and the others??  Not the person.  I'm married to a more complex man today than my first two husbands although he is a gem.  Here's what I have done right: 1) I waited and trusted God to tell me who He wanted me to be with 2) I continue to seek, read, study and pray about being healthy emotionally and to keep God on the pedestal not my husband; 3) I have discovered who I am in Christ as a result of prayer and study; 4) I have learned to LOVE above all things and how unimportant pride and principle is.  I've learned to LOVE myself first and to know that God wants the best for me event though I've been a major mess up.  He still loves me and still wants me to have life and have it abundantly.  I accepted his forgiveness and I don't carry guilt and shame around with me, I left it at the foot of the cross.

Save your marriage if possible
I want you to know that if you can salvage your marriage DO IT.  Set your pride aside, forgive them.  You were in love once.   It's better to work through the problems than starting over.  As Joyce Meyer says, "the grass may be greener, but you have to mow that grass too".  While God has honored me with my journey, I will tell you that divorce is no longer an option for me.  If my husband decides to leave, I will do whatever I can to save the marriage.  There is free will and he still may decide to leave, but I won't be so easily gotten rid of.  Ask your husband/wife if there is ANY way to save the marriage.  You see when I left my husband, he didn't even try to get me to stay. He didn't ask me to stay. Because he didn't even ask or attest, I figured it was what he wanted.  What would of happened if he shared his emotions of wanting our marriage to work?  Speak up, take the risk of being vulnerable at the risk of it going no where.  It's worth the risk.  If it really is over (your spouse has moved on), then just remember you WILL be okay.  God IS present.  He will honor your heart and will give you a rich harvest for your obedience and steadfastness.....believe that with all your heart.

I woke up this morning realizing that I have a testimony to share and that maybe God wants me to help others who are going through what I've been through.  This is why I'm posting my story today.  I hope it helps.  I know you can't see into the future, but there is a future and as long as you are trying to seek righteousness, God will deliver you from the Egypt you are in too.  LOVE TO YOU!!! xxoo Darla

The verse I use to fight negative thoughts is, "I take every thought captive under the obedience of Jesus Christ". (2 Corinth 10:5).  Sometimes I still have to repeat this verse over and over especially if I'm being tormented by someone's words or actions or having negative thoughts towards someone.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." John 10:10

The Parable of the Sower

Sower                                

Matthew 13:1-8, 18-23; Mark 4:3-8, 14-20; Luke 8:5-8, 11-15

The Sower parable is about our heart condition (soil) and how we are responding to the Word of God (seed). Are we going to be unresponsive (the seeds that fell on the path), impulsive (the seeds that fell on to rocky ground), preoccupied (the seeds that fell into the thorns) or responsive (the seeds that fell on good soil)?

I have sown many type of seeds in my 18 year adventure with God.  I think we all start out as the sower where their seeds fell on the path and birds ate them.  It has taken time for me to understand how to “root” my heart into the Word of God.  The bible was so hard for me to understand, I felt like I needed a secret decoder ring to help me figure out what it was saying.  But you know, that was the enemy keeping me from the truth, and I couldn’t tell you when exactly the Word of God all started becoming clear to me, but I will tell you I never stopping KNOWING that it was important. 

I kept surrendering parts of my life, allowing my flesh (sin) to die and giving God access to all my darkest parts and somehow, someway, through the grace of God, the Word became alive.  Now, if someone had told me that 5 years ago, I would of thought, “wow, I want that to happen to me”. You know…I believe God knew my heart and knew deep down I really wanted to be rooted in His word.  It doesn’t happen by accident though.  It didn’t “fall on me”.  I pursued, prayed, studied and kept after God knowing in my heart of heart it was the end all answer to what I needed to be worthwhile to God.  My desire to please God was more important than giving up sin or my time (due to laziness) to study the Word.  I still battle the knee jerk nature to want to entertain myself first and study “later”, even this morning, I almost fell to that temptation instead of doing this devotion, but I said to myself, “God is more important, and when I study His Word, and have it fresh in my mind – it makes the difference in the day of how I treat myself, how I treat others and how useful I am, so I’m going to my God my priority”.   I confess, I don’t win this battle every day (today I did), but sometimes I don’t.  I try to focus on my progress not on whether I’ve “arrived”. 

The bottom line for me is, I don’t want to throw my seeds on the path to be eaten by birds, or on rocky soil.  I don’t want to be preoccupied with the world that the seeds are distorted with worldviews (thorns).  I want to be ROOTED and I want to produce a good, healthy harvest.  For God, for myself, for my family and friends, I want to be “fruitful”.  The desire to bring Glory to God in all the things I say and do (I know it’s a big goal!) is what motivates me to keep pushing through and deepen my roots.

I found these 4 steps in how to make your seeds fall on good soil from a Mars Hill sermon and I wanted to share.  The notes in the parentheses are my thoughts.

• Follow the Holy Spirit (find where the Spirit is moving and be a part of it)
• Hear and hold fast the the Word (really hear it, ask God to help you understand it, ask people who you know understand it for help)
• Have an honest & repentant heart (every time you slip up - and you will - repent immediately to God and to the person you may have sinned against.  Don't let time go by or it will get harder, or you could just plain forget!)
• Cling to Christ w/perseverance and patience (Always, ALWAYS talk to Jesus whether things are good, say thanks, or things are bad, ask for help and understanding.   Be patient, we think we are in a hurry but it takes time for roots to grow so don't give up.

Father God, I thank you for Jesus and this parable.  He gives me a clear picture of what type of “sower” I want to be.  You give me your Word to study so that I may be a sower who sows on good soil (my heart) so that I may be fruitful with this life you've given me.  I thank you for all your grace, mercy and many chances for me to be able to even get this far with my understanding.  I thank you for answering my prayers when I asked for help in understanding your Word when it seemed so foreign to me.  Thank you for opening my eyes, thank you for allowing me to serve your purposes.  Please continue to renew my heart (soil) and allow me to become further rooted in your seed.  I only want to have the heart of Jesus, thank you for allowing me to transform.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.


*The bold words are from Mars Hill Church sermon notes.

Scriptures:

Matthew

13 That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat by the lake. 2 Such large crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat in it, while all the people stood on the shore. 3 Then he told them many things in parables, saying: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. 4 As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. 5 Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. 6 But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. 7 Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. 8 Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred,sixty or thirty times what was sown.

18 “Listen then to what the parable of the sower means: 19 When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in their heart. This is the seed sown along the path. 20 The seed falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. 21 But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. 22 The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful. 23 But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”

Mark:

3 “Listen! A farmer went out to sow his seed. 4 As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. 5 Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. 6 But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. 7 Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants, so that they did not bear grain. 8 Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up, grew and produced a crop, some multiplying thirty, some sixty, some a hundred times.”

14 The farmer sows the word. 15 Some people are like seed along the path, where the word is sown. As soon as they hear it, Satan comes and takes away the word that was sown in them. 16 Others, like seed sown on rocky places, hear the word and at once receive it with joy. 17 But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. 18 Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; 19 but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful. 20 Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop—some thirty, some sixty, some a hundred times what was sown.”

Luke:

⁵ “A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds ate it up. ⁶ Some fell on rocky ground, and when it came up, the plants withered because they had no moisture. ⁷ Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants. ⁸ Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown.”

When he said this, he called out, “Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.”

¹¹ “This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. ¹² Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. ¹³ Those on the rocky ground are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. ¹⁴ The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. ¹⁵ But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.

New Wine in Old Wineskins

New Wine in Old Wineskins    

              

Matthew 9:16-17; Mark 2:21-22; Luke 5:36-39

In this parable Jesus is speaking to the incompatibility of the Old Covenent/Judaism and the new one which is based on Gospel, grace, kingdom and church.  Grace and law do not mix.  Jesus is telling us that the Gospel is new and not to be intertwined into the old but whole by itself, entirely different, not to be integrated into the legalism of the old, Judaism is incompatible with Christianity.  Before today, I never knew that was what He was talking about.  

Yesterday I was on the receiving end of someone trying to mix the old law with new law.  Well, really they were just putting some "old" law on me and forgetting completely about the "new".  They put their “rules” before another human beings feelings and potential to serve God.  I know their intentions were "justified" to be good intentions, but unfortunately I felt they were blind to the larger picture.  I was majorly disappointed in how this person was viewing another and was stumped as to why they were unable to see the potential and instead wanted to make a judgement and put them in a “box” that seemingly made them unusable and unwanted.

God can use broken people and people who are struggling with sin.   My broken parts are what makes me able to relate to others and gives me an opportunity to share my testimony and then I can give Glory to Him.  The legalistic nature of others is what kept me from wanting to go to Church and associating with other Christians.  Somewhere deep inside I knew this was not what Jesus was teaching.  This was the “old wine”.  The “new wine” is about love, grace and acceptance.  Jesus went to eat/drink with sinners because he was saying “I accept you”.  He didn’t stand in front of the room and tell them all how despicable they were.   Nope – he said that to the Pharisee’s, the legalistic and religious people. 

A man came in off the street desperate for help.  He kept telling me all his christian associations and wanting “prove” he was in need and was "worthy".  I looked straight at him and said “Stephen, it wouldn't matter to me if you were a Christian, homeless or who you know or don’t know, if we have the resources to help you – we will.”  He replied to me, “That’s the first I’ve ever heard anyone say that before”.  

Now, how sad is that?  This man has never felt that unconditional acceptance IN A CHURCH.  I think that’s why God has me here, He knows we need people who will stop making judgments about people’s sin (and even that is sinful – to be judgmental) and just sit and eat with him.  You know, he asked me to pray for him, and I took his hands and prayed.  An hour later, we were able to get him a hotel room for the night. 

I believe Jesus wants me to meet people where they are.  He wants me to meet their need if possible or find someone who can.  That’s why I am here.  So, while I have respect for the “old wine”, I will not mix it with the “new wine”.  It's incompatible.  Love will always win.

Father, thank you for sending Stephen to us yesterday and we were able to meet his needs.  Thank you for putting in me a new heart so that I can care and love the unlovable.  Thank you for putting people in my life that challenge my thinking and make me dig deeper and seek your answers.  Thank you for allowing conflict in my life so that I may get better at handling it with righteousness and truth.  Bless my enemies for they are making me stronger in my faith and helping me grow in my spiritually.  Help me to know each moment your way to respond to people when they offend or mistreat others.  Help me to know what the Holy Spirit wants said so that Your will can be done.  You know the hearts of everyone, use my words for your good.  I surrender all of myself to you.  Amen.

Matthew:

¹⁶ “No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment, for the patch will pull away from the garment, making the tear worse. ¹⁷ Neither do people pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst; the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved.”

Mark:

²¹ “No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment. Otherwise, the new piece will pull away from the old, making the tear worse. ²² And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. Otherwise, the wine will burst the skins, and both the wine and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins.”

Luke:

³⁶ He told them this parable: “No one tears a piece out of a new garment to patch an old one. Otherwise, they will have torn the new garment, and the patch from the new will not match the old. ³⁷ And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. Otherwise, the new wine will burst the skins; the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. ³⁸ No, new wine must be poured into new wineskins. ³⁹ And no one after drinking old wine wants the new, for they say, ‘The old is better.’”