My Lenten Journey - Day 4

March 7, 2014

My Friday started off with nothing but a long list of things to print, edit and update.  I hardly even notice the difference that I"m sitting in a church office.  Printing is printing.  Updating is updating.  Nothing feels "churchy".  It doesn't feel like I'm serving God.  Do I listen to my feelings?  Well, I did listen until a friend of mine stopped in at the end of the day.  He is always good for a good "spirit filled" conversations.  Most days I"m "too busy" for this talk, but today I needed it.  This is my Lenten Journey.  So, we started talking.  During our conversation I discovered something.  People can be committed more to the process of things than the spirit of things.  We like structure.  We like to dot our i's and our t's.  Especially us Administrators with our lists.  Today however I was not enjoying the process, I was missing meeting the basic needs of another human being.

So, I ask myself, "Am I more committed to the process than I am the leading of the Holy Spirit?"  Did the 12 apostles have a "process" or did they follow the leading of the Holy Spirit.  I realize that we can't completely get away form processes or we have chaos, that's not what I'm referring to. I"m talking about how we can "know" the answer and still need to follow the process because we don't trust our "knowing".

God has been validating me to accept my discernment more.  There is a time for process and there is a time for relying on the spirit of God to lead me.

God, I realize that I can become too process oriented.  Help me to be in the moment of when I have discernment about a person or situation to stop and see you in the situation and not to keep going on autopilot following through on a task.  Help me to stop and see you in all the mundane things I do both as an administrator and a wife, mother and child of you.  Amen.