My Lenten Journey

Ash Wednesday, March 5th

I work for a church.  I'm the highest "ranking" female there.  Confession:  I have no idea what the significance of Ash Wednesday or Lent is.  So, at the last staff meeting, I made myself vulnerable and asked OUTLOUD  what it all meant.  Asking, at the risk of judgement of my fellow Lutheran staff members and Pastors.  Well, when it was all said and done I realized most of the people there didn't know and it was a true history lesson.  Maybe I asked/risked what others were not willing to....ignorance about why we do what we do when we go to church.  In the entire conversation, one of the Pastors mentioned Lent being "a journey and preparation".  That made sense.  We are remembering the journey Jesus was on before his final days on Earth.  Lent comes from the Latin word "lengthen"... Described to me as the length of time from winter coming into spring....death and resurrection. Hmmm.

So, this Lent season, I will be spending less time (or no time) on social media cultivating surface relationships, but instead studying bible verses to understand why Jesus was on the journey to the cross and what it really means.

This blog entry is really to record my thoughts and hopefully some revelations along the way...mostly for myself as a record of this season.  I really don't know who reads my blog as this is really an electronic journal for myself and my children when they want to know their mom in a deeper sense.

So, today I start with a sick 9year old at home and a trio through 1 John 4:10.  Why this verse? Because I downloaded a 31 day devotional demo Bookbub for free and when I opened it up, this was the first devotion. Here it is: Amplified version

1 John 4:10
"In this is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His only son to be the propitiation (atoning sacrifice) for our sins."

So, I have been saying this over and over.  What stands out is that God loved me first.  For no reason. It's not because I'm lovable all the time, or because I necessarily deserve it.  He loved me enough (and anyone else reading this) to send his perfect, sinless son, Jesus, to die cruelly and undeservingly, so that I may have eternal life with him.  Wow.  Would I do that. Would I sacrifice my son, Jacob, for another person who wasn't exactly perfect? We have been MADE RIGhT by Jesus' death.  How difficult is his to accept?  Easy to accept Jesus is the son of God and died on the cross for my sins....difficult to comprehend what an act of UNCONDITIONAL love this is from God.  He loved me first! HE loved me first.  He loved me FIRST!

God, I receive this unconditional love you have for me.  Let me see myself as you see me...the righteousness of Christ.  Let me see clearly the spiritual being you made me.  Help me to die to self so that I may look upon your people with love and not frustration and disappointment.  Let me live like you. In Jesus' name, amen!